Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Unreal News: Mel Gibson R&B album set to drop this holiday season!

While taking a break from making religious torture porn films and trying to convince the makers of the Snuggie to make a special one for him in white, Mel Gibson briefly reconciled with his estranged girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva in order to record a full length studio album, inspired by their recently leaked audio tapes.

Grigorieva, a horrendously bad Russian singer/songwriter, agreed to let Mel and his hired band of white Christian studio musicians take over her home studio for an undisclosed amount of money. Hip hop artist Chris Brown took the production reigns for the album.

This image most likely will NOT appear in the album art.

 While the monetary numbers may be unknown, we just got our hands on the track titles for the album, which will be called "Foreign Bodies". The tracks are as follows:

Gimme Back My Wetback
Don't Jew My Heart
See You Next Tuesday, Whore
F'ed By a Pack O' N's
Hold Our Baby So I Can Find Your Teeth
In My Rose Garden (featuring OJ Simpson)
You're My Vegas Lady
Don't Hang Up
Balls in a Knot
My Sweet Heavy Breathing
I Deserve To Be Blown (Kisses)

One song, titled "Rot In Hell With Your Pansy Son, You Gold Digging Cunt Whore/Say Hello To The Christ Killing Jews For Me, You Bitch" will be available on the special collector's edition of the album, which is only available for sale in Australia; scheduled for release on the first day of Hanukkah. The US should expect "Foreign Bodies" to drop just in time for Christmas.

**Obviously, this whole story is a work of sad, but hilarious, fiction. While it would be glorious if such an album were actually released, it must be noted that what you just read is completely untrue. If you are interested in hearing the leaked audio tapes that inspired this, you can do so on Just hide the kids first.**

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